


The Sun is a Cruel Mistress

by audreycritter



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types, The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Giants, daytime problems, fair Irish skin, friends don't leave friends burnt, human weakness, my natural habitat is angst I am in a foreign land, pure fluff, utility belts, you guys it's for a friend I'm bad at pure fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 21:20:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8117968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audreycritter/pseuds/audreycritter
Summary: Clark and Diana sometimes forget just how HUMAN some of the JLA are. But what's surprising to them is just routine for others. Pure fluff. Zero angst.





	

The Watchtower command room was quiet. Clark and Diana walked together toward the teleportation room, hurried but not rushing. Cyborg had asked Clark at the last minute to get something from a tech closet there and Diana had offered to go with him, claiming she wanted to talk to him about something.

The others would be waiting for them below on earth, at the edge of a bright sunny field where an angry giant was throwing boulders and getting closer and closer to Rome.

As they approached the room, however, Clark could hear voices talking in low but casual tones.

“--forgot mine again. I'm so sorry.”

“I keep telling you, you need some sort of belt. We could make one that can handle your speed.”

“I know, I know, but they look so clunky on me. You look fine but I look like one of those middle-aged tourist dads with a fanny pack.”

“Well, maybe try using something that isn't _actually a fanny pack_.”

Without discussing the fact that they're going to stop, Clark and Diana have both stopped right outside the door, listening with wide eyes.

It's Bruce and Barry.

“Can I borrow--” Barry starts to ask, his voice lilting in question.

“Yes.”

“Thanks.”

There's a pause and then Barry says, “I can't use this one. It gave me a rash that one time. I itched for days.”

“Then remember to bring your own.”

“Bats, c’mon. I know you have at least one other brand on you.”

“I don't. You finished it off the last time you forgot yours.”

“Damn. I'm gonna need to run by a CVS or something.”

“No, wait, I found another one. Here.”

“ _Thank you, thank you._ I hate making runs in the suit.”

“Clark, stop hovering in the hall already,” Bruce snaps, and Clark and Diana have been listening so intently they both jump. Clark looks sheepish but Diana scowls as they go in.

Bruce and Barry are standing near the teleport with their masks off passing a small tube of white sunscreen between them. Bruce looks completely unfazed, despite Clark’s expression, and Barry scowls at the both of them.

“Don't look at me like that,” Barry says. “It's not my fault I have fair Irish skin.”

He's rubbing white lotion over his cheeks, where the mask leaves his face exposed.

Bruce is rubbing at his chin and holds his hand out for the tube. Barry gives it back to him.

“Don't look so shocked, Clark,” Bruce says, practical and calm. “I can't risk tan lines when we go out during the day.”

“I’d never thought about that,” Clark admits in faintly surprised tone.

“We _are_ stopping at CVS after this and finding something with a mineral base. I keep telling Alfred this one is greasy,” Bruce says to Barry, ignoring Clark now.

“That's fine with me, but if you insist on one of those expensive organic ones, I'm not paying for it,” Barry replies.

“How much is sunscreen now, anyway?” Bruce asks, musing, “$60?”

“Please stop talking,” Barry says. “I don't even know how I know you sometimes. It's like you aren't real. You're like one of those political cartoons about the 1% except you're actually serious and it's terrifying.”

Bruce glares at Barry, but then asks, “Did I miss anything?”

Barry looks at him, at the bit of white smear on the end of Bruce’s nose.

“Nope,” he says seriously. “Me?”

“Damn it, Barry,” Bruce replies, scrubbing at his face all over and rubbing in the spot on his nose. “Don't lie to me.”

“Aw, how'd you know?”

“You have one of the most obvious tells in the history of tells.”

Clark is silent, still gaping. Diana looks amused but Clark isn't sure if it's at him or the men.

“What's my tell?” Barry asks, recapping the sunscreen.

“You open your mouth,” Bruce answers, pulling the cowl into place.

“Shut up,” Barry grumbles, tugging his mask on. “I hate you.”

“Ready?” Batman asks.

“Yeah,” Barry says, sulking.

“See you down there,” Bruce says to Clark and Diana and then he and Barry vanish from the room.

“What just happened,” Clark says, bewildered.

“Ah, humans,” Diana says, delighted. “They are weak in the most delightful ways. Let's go fight a giant.”


End file.
